Apalah Arti Sebuah Gembok

Gembok. G.E.M.B.O.K.
Ada apa dengan gembok?
Gini, sudah lama gue memutuskan untuk menggembok IG gue supaya gue bisa menyeleksi siapa aja yang bisa jadi followers gue. Terus muncul-lah fitnah IG kalo gue pengen ada huruf “K” dibelakang number of followers gue. Selain itu, gue pengen bisa diliat sama someone-i-cant-tell-you… Oh My God. So cheeeeesssssyyyyy..

Beberapa hari yang lalu, gue ngerengek. Minta ijin ke Arief untuk buka gembok IG. Alasannya sih simple (hmm, a little bit stupid sih), gue mau kepo-able. Maksudnya, gue pengen ada seseorang (no mentioned) kepo-in IG gue, terus ngerasa gemanaaaa ama gue. Haha. Not everything always goes the way we planned. Mungkin aja orang yang gue tuju itu sama sekali gak penasaran sama gue. Terus gue-nya malah ngerasa penting ampe musti orang itu kepoin gue. Adoooh, logika receh ABEGEH banget kaaaann.

Arief udah ingetin baik-baik banget supaya gue gak buka gembok IG. Nanti kena fitnah IG. Pertama, buka gembok. Lama-lama posting foto selfie. “Terus nanti ada yang DM ke aku. Gini bunyinya: akhi, terima kasih udah ngizinin Dida buka gemboknya akhi. Saya jadi bisa liat kecantikan calon istrinya. MasyaAllaah. Makasih.”

Terus gue mikir. Yaaaa, walaupun hasil mikirnya gak berhasil ngalahin keinginan-murahan-gue sih. Pada akhirnya, gembok IG pun gue buka. Taraaaat.

Bener aja kata Arief. Gue jadi selfie dalam bentuk insta story. Supaya keliatan siapa aja yang udah liat. Niatnya, kalo pas someone-i-cant-tell nya pas kepoin gue, ngerasa kalah telak. Malahan gue pengen posting di IGnya Arief foto dompet lamanya  terus kasih caption “KW-nya aja gak ada”. Ya Allaah, ini hasad bener-bener ganggu jiwa raga daaahh.. Gue jadi uring-uringan gak jelas. Lama-lama Arief bisa pegel ngadepin gue. Terus gue jadi kehilangan sisi baiknya Arief yang demen banget treat me like a princess. Nanti malah gue di-treat kaya bocah TK.

Terus gue pun merenung, ampe kagak tidur. Allaah kirim kode dari timeline IG. Ustadz Raehanul Bahraen dan Ustadz Aan Chandra Thalib mendadak ngangkat tema yang sama. Keburukan jangan dibalas keburukan. Ikhlas dan maafkan. 

Yasudah, gembok IG yang udah gue buka, kembali gue tutup. Hasrat kepo yang membuncah, bakalan gue rem semaksimal mungkin. Gue gak mau badai datang dari faktor eksternal terus ngerusak hubungan gue dan Arief. Enak aja. Gue mau gue bahagia kok.

sekian #random siang ini.

How I Met Arief Putra

Tinder can be such a horrific landscape of crotch shots and misspelled “compliments” about the way your breasts look in your profile pic that it’s hard to believe anyone has actually met a life partner on there. But it happens.

I used to dread the question: “So, how’d you guys meet?” I’d turn beet-red and lower my voice: “Tinder.” Hihihi

On our first date, we had drinks at Djournal Coffee, hit it off and agreed we wanted to see each other again. We haven’t stopped seeing each other since that night. Our conversation felt so natural and like we’d already been friends for years.

I still can’t believe I met Arief Putra on an app, especially since I didn’t even write a profile and just had a few photos up there.

Well, I’ve actually met someone who I would have never had the chance to meet before if I hadn’t had Tinder on my phone that I suffered when I was bored. I’d go on to share my one redeeming shred of confidence: He was my last date. We planned on deleting the app had the date gone awry. And, we delete the app already.

Now, we are still counting until Sept 3rd. Hope everything going well.

Let me know if you read this-lovely-spam, Yip 🙂IMG-20170526-WA0020

Letters to The Person Who Walks Into My Life

Wherever you are in your life when you decide to come into mine, there’s a few things I want you to know about me before you take any more steps forward. Before the childhood stories are shared about how you got that scar on the side of your lips,  I want you to understand these few things that make me who I am.

I’m stubborn. Or rather, I’m determined. I know what I want, and once I set my mind to something, I won’t stop until I reach that goal. If one thing along my journey to reach that goal goes wrong, I will pout and probably act like a child, because I was not counting on having anything happen that would set me back from achieving my goal. I also don’t like to lose. So, whether we play fight or play video games, I will be annoyed if I lose.

I’m sassy and sarcastic. If you can’t deal with that, chances are we won’t get along well. Almost everything that comes out of my mouth has some hint of sass or sarcasm in it. I want someone who can be my best friend and respond to my sarcasm with “a good sarcasm in other ways”. I want someone who will make jokes with me, and still laugh when mine aren’t as funny as they sounded in my head. Some days, when my anxiety is in full swing, I become quiet and withdrawn and you might think there is nothing that you can do to help me. All it takes is a few corny jokes or puns to get me to crack a smile, and most of the time that’s all I need to make my day brighter.

I’m confusing. I know to guys, all girls are confusing, but I become the biggest contradiction of myself. Sometimes I’m easy to read and other times I couldn’t tell you what I want because I don’t even know myself. There is no gray space with me, I see everything in either black or white. While I try to be completely honest about everything that’s on my mind, if there ever comes a time when I’m having a hard time explaining what’s going on in my head, please be patient with me as I’m trying to figure it out myself.

I will always be honest and loyal to you. I will always give you 110% and never give up. I will be your best friend, your number one fan, your biggest supporter. I have had people give up on me and walk out without any hesitation when things get though, and I could never think about doing that to someone. My secrets will become yours, even the ones I don’t like to talk about. I’ll never hide anything or keep anything from you. Honesty and loyalty are the two most important aspects in a relationship to me.

I will do my best to never doubt you, but I’ll need you to be patient with me. Many people have done me wrong in the past – whether it be in friendships or romantic relationships – my trust has been broken, abused, and taken advantage of many times. Even if you personally have never given me a reason not to trust you, there will always be a little sense of doubt in the back of my brain. It’ll get better and eventually go away with time, but it will take a while. Please don’t get mad or upset if I ever question you about things. I don’t mean to be insulting, I just need a little reassurance every now and then.

Lastly, I will sometimes doubt that I’m wanted. I know you care (I know if you didn’t want me in your life you would have gotten rid of me by now) but sometimes all it takes is a little reassurance that I am still wanted. All it takes is 30 seconds to send me a text saying “I hope you have a great day,” or “I’m happy to have you in my life.” That’s all it takes and those doubts about not being wanted disappear from my mind in an instant. If you’re willing to patience with me, I think everything will work its way out.

We will have our ups and downs just like any other relationship would, but I’m not one to give up and walk out when things get tough and I hope you’re not either.

To the person who walks into my life, thank you to choosing me. Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.

.Arief Putra.

Kepada Anak Perempuan yang Hendak Menikah

Ummu Ma’ashirah menasihati putrinya dengan nasihat berikut ini yang telah diramunya dengan senyum dan air mata.

“Wahai puteriku, engkau akan memulai hidup baru… Suatu kehidupan yang tiada tempat di dalamnya untuk ibumu, ayahmu, atau untuk seorang pun dari saudaramu. Engkau akan menjadi teman bagi seorang pria yang tidak ingin ada seorang pun yang menyukutuinya berkenaan denganmu hingga walaupun ia berasal dari daging dan darahmu. Jadilah engkau sebagai istri baginya, wahai puteriku, dan jadilah engkau sebagai ibu baginya. Jadikanlah ia merasa bahwa engkau adalah segalanya dalam kehidupannya dan segalanya dalam dunianya. Ingatlah selalu bahwa suami itu anak-anak besar, jarang sekali kata-kata manis yang membahagiakan. Jangan engkau menjadikannya merasa bahwa dengan dia menikahimu, ia telah menghalangimu dari keluargamu.

Perasaan ini sendiri juga dirasakan olehnya. Sebab, dia juga telah meninggalkan rumah kedua orangtuanya dan meninggalkan keluarganya karenamu. Tetapi perbedaan antara dirimu dengannya ialah perbedaan antara wanita dan laki-laki. Wanita selalu rindu kepada keluarganya, kepada rumahnya di mana dia dilahirkan, tumbuh menjadi besar dan belajar. Tetapi dia harus membiasakan dirinya dalam kehidupan yang baru ini. Ia harus mencari hakikat hidupnya bersama pria yang telah menjadi suami dan ayah bagi anak-anaknya. Inilah duniamu yang baru, wahai puteriku. Inilah masa kini dan masa depanmu. Inilah mahligaimu, di mana kalian berdua bersama-sama menciptakannya.

Adapun orangtuamu adalah masa lalu. Aku tidak memintamu melupakan ayah dan ibumu serta saudara-saudaramu, karena mereka tidak akan melupakanku selama-lamanya. Wahai sayangku, bagaimana mungkin ibu akan lupa belahan hatinya? Tetapi aku minta kepadamu agar engkau mencintai suamimu, mendampingi suamimu, dan engkau bahagia dengan kehidupanmu bersamanya”

(Nikah A Sampai Z, Abu Hafsh Usamah bin Kamal bin ‘Abdir Razzaq, 1998: 416)

How We Were Going

When i saw you for the first time, i knew you were the one. You didn’t say a word to me but love was in the air.

Then you held my hand, pulled me into your world. From then on my life has changed for me. Now i will never feel lonely again because you are in my life…

Love… How can i explain to you. The way i feel inside when i think of you..
I thank you for everything that you showed me. Don’t you ever forget that i love you.

Love, i know that someday real soon you will be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so i will always be yours.

Although we can’t be together now, remember i am here for you and i know you’re there for me.

Whenever i want to be with you, i just close my eyes and pretend you’re near. I see you, i touch you, i feel you, like real. Nothing can ever change what i feel inside.

How long must i be far away from you?
I don’t know dear, but I know we are one…

 

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I am Not an ‘almost relationship’ Kind of Girl

I am not an ‘almost relationship’ kind of girl. Not the ‘I’m going to be super sweet toward you one night and then act like I don’t care the next.’ Not the ‘everything is going great but suddenly I’m going to pull back because I’m scared and complicated and this is too much.’ Not the ‘I don’t want to put in the effort that it will take to be with you, but I still like you and want to hook up with you so I’ll just half-ass it and do the bare minimum.’ No.

I am the kind of girl who you connect with; the kind of girl you need to fight for, make an effort for. I am not the kind of girl you can make a half-ass commitment to. I don’t do things “almost.” Because “almost” will never satisfy me.

I won’t accept a “good morning” text as effort. I won’t accept that romance is dead or that people don’t fully commit anymore. Maybe it’s dead for those who accept “almost” – who don’t know how love or commitment looks like, sounds like, feels like.

But I give too much to receive an “almost”. I offer too much to waste my time with a guy who gives me almost what I need, a guy who who is not yet ready for love, a guy who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to him.

When you’re with me (yeah! you commit to me) you don’t have one eye wandering at the options. Because you understand my value. Because you’re not impressed with easy, you understand that easy will never satisfy you. It will be sweet but uninspiring. It will always leave you wanting more.

Give me your time, all your love, take me on a crazy adventure. Take me dancing cheek to cheek, spoil me, make me feel special every day. Show me consistency. I don’t need you to tell me you love me and then pull a 180.

It’s not enough to know that deep down, you care. You can’t just say the words, you need to actually show me, with actions, consistency, commitment. Being hot and cold doesn’t mean you’re enigmatic, it means you almost want it, but you’re not ready for it. And that’s not enough for me.

No, I’m not an ‘almost’ relationship type of girl. I am not the girl who accepts bullshit excuses, the excuse that you’re in a very difficult time in your life and you can’t give me what I deserve. And I won’t make excuses for you, that you’re “complicated” or “just being honest” or scared because you like me too much.

If I don’t mean enough to you to make the effort to be with me fully , you’re not getting any of me. Don’t even try to message me from time to time and say something incredibly romantic.

Because I am the girl who will change your life, who will make you better. I am the girl who will never stop fighting for you, I will love all your wrongness, all those parts of you that you hate. Dating me will not the end of your liberty , it will be the beginning of it.

I am the girl who will frustrate the hell out of you because I will challenge you, I will never let you get away with slacking on your talents. I will never just go along with some resemblance of a mediocre, passionless life. I’m not an ‘almost relationship’ type of girl.

I am never going to settle for someone who doesn’t put me first. Someone who’s too lost or scared or desensitized to understand that I am the type of girl who makes you feel alive, understood, who will make us live the fuck out of our lives; and who’s too passionate to settle for an “almost” anything.

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My ENTP’s Test

Pagi-pagi, temen yang tinggal di Narogong menyapa. “Lo udah test ENTP belom? Nih gue kasih link”. Karena gak ada kerjaan, gue coba lah test nya.. Ini linknya: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

And how is the result? Here it is….

ENTPs are inspired innovators, motivated to find new solutions to intellectually challenging problems. They are curious and clever, and seek to comprehend the people, systems, and principles that surround them. Open-minded and unconventional, Visionaries want to analyze, understand, and influence other people.

ENTPs enjoy playing with ideas and especially like to banter with others. They use their quick wit and command of language to keep the upper hand with other people, often cheerfully poking fun at their habits and eccentricities. While the ENTP enjoys challenging others, in the end they are usually happy to live and let live. They are rarely judgmental, but they may have little patience for people who can’t keep up.

What Makes the ENTP Tick

ENTPs are energized by challenge and are often inspired by a problem that others perceive as impossible to solve. They are confident in their ability to think creatively, and may assume that others are too tied to tradition to see a new way. The Visionary relies on their ingenuity to deal with the world around them, and rarely finds preparation necessary. They will often jump into a new situation and trust themselves to adapt as they go.

ENTPs are masters of re-inventing the wheel and often refuse to do a task the same way twice. They question norms and often ignore them altogether. Established procedures are uninspiring to the Visionary, who would much rather try a new method (or two) than go along with the standard.

Recognizing the ENTP

ENTPs are typically friendly and often charming. They usually want to be seen as clever and may try to impress others with their quick wit and incisive humor. They are curious about the world around them, and want to know how things work. However, for the ENTP, the rules of the universe are made to be broken. They like to find the loopholes and figure out how they can work the system to their advantage. This is not to say the Visionary is malicious: they simply find rules limiting, and believe there is probably a better, faster, or more interesting way to do things that hasn’t been thought of before.

The ENTP is characteristically entrepreneurial and may be quick to share a new business idea or invention. They are confident and creative, and typically excited to discuss their many ingenious ideas. The ENTP’s enthusiasm for innovation is infectious, and they are often good at getting other people on board with their schemes. However, they are fundamentally “big-picture” people, and may be at a loss when it comes to recalling or describing details. They are typically more excited about exploring a concept than they are about making it reality, and can seem unreliable if they don’t follow through with their many ideas.

Famous ENTPs

Famous ENTPs include Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Richard Feynman, Leonardo da Vinci, Niccolo Machiavelli, John Stuart Mill, Jon Stewart, “Weird Al” Yankovic, and Conan O’Brien