I lie. I lie everyday. I lie when someone asks me how I’m feeling and I say i’m fine. I lie that I’m not thinking about upcoming appointment and tests. I lie that I’m not worried about a new symptom that I was told to watch our for because it could mean something serious. I lie when I tell people I don’t spent my free time looking up conditions for my appointment to try and explaon and steer a conversation around an actual diagnosis. I lie when I look you in the eye and I say that my chronic pain which leaves me doubled over and in tears is just mild discomfort. I lie when I tell you that I didn’t spend my lunch in a stall crying because I couldn’t get out of bed. I lie because it is easier for me to pretend I’m fine than to admit that I am broken, scared, and unsure about how to move on.
Thank you for being my scoliobuddy.. Thank you for take care of me and elus-elus my scoliosis when it got worse. Yes, you’ve made me stronger and better. But, it’s over. 🙂 Goodbye~~